Words can inspire and destroy…

There are 365 days in a year, all of which are completely anonymous and eternally essential because each moment plays a quaint, yet tremendous role in the unknown number of days, weeks, and years that will follow. You can say anything, you can be anything, you can go anywhere, and yet so many of us sit still in cautious preservation of the unknown. Fuck. Actually, fuck that. I’m a dreamer…I brainstorm and brew ideas of my future and I say anything to gas the fire burning in my belly, but if I can say anything, why I haven’t I done anything? Words are dangerous because they are so incredibly powerful and motivating, yet without out the follow through that is necessary to execute the promises entangled in the sentences we write and the speeches we preach, they are empty and meaningless. Yikes. Yikes, because if you’re anything like me, you just realized some of the responsibility of your remarkable existence. We’ve built faith, love, and history on the words that have breached our ancestor’s lips and imprinted themselves into our yesterday’s. We’ve built our futures on the “I love you’s” that have been spoken by our loved ones, and pursued or denied our dreams based on the words that have left the mouths of those surrounding us, because really, we can say anything. So, if you’re like me, you just realized that “saying anything” can impact far more than the moments in which they are spoken, but can also pave or tear up the roads we’ve slowly been building on our way to success or failure. There are 365 days a year, and within the ~8, 760 hours that pass, we say thousands of words, and sometimes we say anything without doing anything and eventually the fires blistering the walls of our desires die. Maybe we should start saying less and meaning more. Maybe instead of saying “I love you” because we are supposed to, we say it because our hearts  literally ache if we don’t, and maybe instead of declaring wars to prove we are better than the other, we should fight a little harder to fight less.

The compliments are sweet like honey and the insults are as bitter as a stalk of untouched lavender. We lick the honey that drips from our spoons and roll our lavender in it and slowly knead it into our dough, and only then does it become soft and sweet enough for our sandpaper tongues. Each ingredient is just “something” on it’s own, but together we discover something so sweet and delicate that only a cup of warm tea can amplify it’s novelty. Each word, each insult, and each wish is just an ingredient to a delicacy that can only be enjoyed by the people with which they are directly shared. Words are our ingredients, and the words we choose can make or break our recipes…so we don’t just say anything, but rather we think about it, right? I’ve messed up so many recipes and I’ve said the wrong thing so many times. I’ve insulted my own delicacies with the wrong ingredients…the wrong words. The compliments are so sweet, but god damn the insults are bitter and they spoil just about anything that is deemed worth saving. Yes, I’ve messed up so many recipes, but I will no longer sit in cautious avoidance of making a mistake, of adding the wrong ingredient, or of saying the wrong thing. Screw that. I will add more honey when the bitterness of the lavender seems too much and I will continue to adjust and knead my dough to eventually produce the most perfectly balanced honey and lavender loaf. But it takes time. It takes messing up a couple recipes and adding a little too much lavender and not enough honey to understand that sometimes less is more. We lick the honey from our spoons and we add a pinch of lavender and we learn how to create a balance because only then do we understand that adding meaningless ingredients or saying meaningless words insults the delicacies that we spend so long trying to perfect.

But sometimes saying anything is better than saying nothing. In order to ignite a flame, we must first hold a match to it. So many times we have said nothing in fear of saying the wrong thing or have regressed in the face and power of our own voices. But here’s the thing, our lips are not supposed to be gate keepers, but rather facilitators of discovery. I want to know you, I want to know what you have to say, I want to hear you share your opinion and fight for it, I want to know how you feel, and I want you to teach me the secrets that your eyes have so successfully guarded. Tell me. Say something, say anything. Say it, because your lips are facilitators of greatness and they are meant to be used. The moment your words leave your tightly-locked lips is the moment they become a part of your history…the instant you get to learn from them and inspire futures. Impact a moment and stamp yourself into the past and make a mark in as many lives as possible because your voice is beautiful…it’s perfect. It would be my honor to hear what you have to say, it would be an honor to understand you better. So light your match and I’ll light mine. Let’s talk, let’s go, let’s ride. Say anything because I want to sit with you and I want to hear you. Facilitate your discoveries. Get to know me and I’ll get to know you. Enamor me with your contagious knowledge and beauty. I promise to listen. Learn that in order to kiss the boy, you must first say something. Make it happen for yourself and never regret the rejection that may follow. There is so much value and learning to be had in the mistakes and discoveries made as our lips unleash the beauty and knowledge that we’ve been withholding for so long. Dismiss your gatekeepers and dismiss your guards because I want to talk. I want you to say anything and understand that even if I don’t understand, I am listening. Do not cower in the face of rejection or the unknown, because none of us know what is to come. Pave your road, let go and discover.

I am a victim of introspection. The silence is deafening, and for each moment that passes, it gets louder. I can feel my heartbeat in my eardrums, I can feel each thought like needles on my fingertips, and I can feel the silence rumble the ground I’m standing on. Shit. I wish you would just say something. Say anything. Slow my heartbeat, numb my fingers, steady my stance, remind me that it’s only in silence that I can exhale loudly and feel my own breath. It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to go days without a text message because within each moment of silence that passes, you become more aware of your strength and grace as you learn to do it on your own. I want to talk, I want to get to know you, I want you to get to know me, but I’m scared to get to know myself. I am a victim of introspection and my ground is shaking, but I will learn to steady it on my own. I will kneel to the ground and absorb the pulses in my eardrums and I will listen to my breath as it slowly steadies itself in the deafening silence, because for all that it’s worth, it will be worth it in the end.  There are 365 days in a year, and each day that passes is completely anonymous and eternally essential, especially the silent ones. I spend so much time afraid of the silence in fear of where my thoughts might take me but what I fail to recognize is that it is in the contradicting peaceful and eerie silence that I am able to dream. I am able to construct and brew ideas about my future and not be obligated to say anything or tell anyone and do it without the implications of an audience….I am able to be me. We’ve built faith, love, and history with the words that have breached our ancestors lips, but it is in the moments of complete solitude and silence that we can make sense of it all. It is in the presence of too many words that we trip and fall and bruise ourselves, but it is in the silence that we finally heal because silence is never misquoted. It is in the solitude of silence that we leave behind the “I love you’s” and actually feel what it means, we stop searching for a reason to fight, and we feel the fire burn the walls of our desires as we finally realize our value and worth.

Sometimes it’s hard to find the right words. We search for words to fill a moment, we analyze the silence, we say things we don’t mean, and we remember the words that have been spoken in the past to try and predict our futures. Words are delicate yet incredibly powerful and using them correctly takes a lifetime of mastery and we discredit ourselves as we make mistakes along the way. We impact far more than the moments in which our words are spoken. So, think before you speak, but speak with your heart and say your truth. Don’t regret rejection but rather let it propel you into your future and boast your past experiences. Be proud of your failures just the same as your successes. Let’s go, let’s talk, let’s ride. 

choose them wisely

Inspiration for post: searching for confidence, happiness, solitude, and meaning

Cue the music: (press to listen)

ºWolves by Selena Gomez and Marshmello

ºCold by Novo Amor

ºIDGAF by Dua Lipa

ºTerraform by Novo Amor

ºThis Town by Kygo

-Maggie

~Honey&Lavender~

 

 

 

 

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